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Sign: Increase In Overtime Work

Client: "Lynn"

"We have been married for close to 5 years. Prior to that we have been dating for 9 years. In the last 5 years of marriage, he would leave the house at 7:20 AM every morning. However, recently he has been leaving for work earlier than usual, at times even before I am awake.

I have also noticed that he is returning home later. In the past, he would have reached home by 7pm. In the recent months, this has also changed. He returns home later saying that he has meetings or loads of additional work due to a colleague leaving and him taking over.

Thou I want to trust him, I just felt I wanted to play on the safe side. I began making notes of when my husband leaves early and arrives home late. Doing so, I notice that it was usually on Tuesday and Thursdays.”

What You Need to Know

An affair at work doesn’t happen overnight. It could start out with your spouse needing someone to talk to regarding problems within the marriage or at work. Especially in marriage, your spouse may seek an opposite gender to get inside views.

Working overtime is a common signs seen when cheating a spouse yet is hard to spot in Singapore due to our hectic work life. Ninety percent of the time, cases of affairs happen with someone with whom he/she is close with at the job.

When a spouse has an affair with someone at work, the time spent away from home can be limited. To cover up for that, he/she would have to use late meeting or working overtime as an excuse.

Before jumping to conclusion, listen closely to what your spouse has to say about work. There might be a reference to a co-worker in conversation or the use of the name as one of the people who also has to put in the extra time.

Also look out for patterns of overtime. For example, if your spouse arrives home late on Fridays and Mondays it may be because he or she will want to spend time with the lover before the weekend-and then again after the weekend. (Of course, the spouse may say he or she is working overtime on Saturday, too.)

TIP-OFFS:

No increase seen in your spouse's paycheck.

Your spouse usually meets the lover on the same day of the week.

Extra mileage used on the car.

You are unable to reach your spouse by telephone (being told there are no incoming calls after hours).

Your spouse returns home smelling of perfume or alcohol, or have make-up on clothing.

Your spouse always wears a favorite piece of clothing or sexy undergarments on certain days of the week.

Your spouse does not give the location of the meeting, who he or she is with, or says what time he or she will be home.

Meeting with new friends or associates with whom you do not know, never met or heard of in recent months.

*Note: As hard as it may be, tame your anger and questioning until you have gathered all your information.

 

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